i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
