he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
