remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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