He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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