Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize