Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
