He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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