Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
