Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
