My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
