Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
