We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize