So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
