I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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