I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
