I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
