we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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