1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
