That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
