but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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