I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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