matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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