We're like a lot better than the average bears
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize