walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
