What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
