I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
