if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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