Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
