Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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