I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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