he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
