Can i not drive my cunt home
That's intense
Nicole vs. Life
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
