Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
