You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
