I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
