I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
