It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
