My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize