My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
