how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize