i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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