Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
