You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
