Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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