Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
