once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
