is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize