I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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