I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
