How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize