at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
