PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
as a side note pls kill me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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