Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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