Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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