Me too!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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