theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize