bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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