I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
