apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
honey bunches of taint.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
