i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
