Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
