Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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