I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Randomize