sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
