a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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