so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize