YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize