So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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