worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize