I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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