Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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