My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
